When Words Fall Short

We are living in a world that is filled with a war of words. As a lifelong wordsmith of sorts, I am so grieved that words have and continue to wield such destructive power while at the same time, hold so much HOPE for redemption and reconciliation. I am not sure why I am surprised that the same mouth that sings words of praise for our Lord and Father in one moment, is cursing human beings who have been made in God’s likeness the next. (James 3:9-11)

This is certainly not a new phenomenon. Nor is it only true in the locality where you are reading this today. It is a much broader human condition that spans generations of time and will seemingly carry forward for generations to come reaching all points of the globe.

Our humanity is clothed in an automatic physiological reaction to things that are stressful or frightening to us. This reaction has been coined as fight or flight.

FIGHT

In our fight response, the most powerful force is the one that “wins”. Picture yourself standing face to face with someone who is opposing you. Now, put both of your hands up to touch theirs in a similar posture. Now, push! When one pushes, the natural tendency is to push back, right? The harder they push, the harder you push. And the pushing continues until one “wins”. This seems to be the same model in our war of words. Someone shouts and we shout back. They shout louder, we match or exceed not only their volume but their derogatory rhetoric.

FLIGHT

As a 9 on the enneagram, this is my personal favorite. 😊 This response is to ignore, run away, hide, avoid. Kind of like the ostrich burying its head in the sand as if to say, la, la, la, I am not listening to you!!! At least in direct contact. However, then we go to social media and berate on another because it feels more anonymous.

A THIRD WAY

Perhaps there is a third way where we embrace the stress and the fear AND embrace the human being, who is made in God’s image just like you, opening up our hearts to one another. To stop fighting with words. To stop running away to avoid the conflict. And instead, simply embrace and lovingly stay connected. When someone is pushing you, stop pushing and embrace them. When they are shouting at the top of their lungs in support of something that you vehemently oppose, stop trying to shout louder and embrace and listen. This WAY is captured so beautifully in what has been called the Prayer of St. Francis.

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace:
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy.

O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console,
to be understood as to understand,
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

Someone has to be first to move beyond the words and live this third way. Why not us?